Shock as Ochieng Kakono Stole our clothes..


Very few times do I come across a story I can identify with, and this is one of them, I have resisted the urge to edit or add my version of events since I have had a similar experience… but thanks to  Marto @ yamtaa.com for the good laugh.

Title: Dufo Mpararo

Growing up, we didn’t have swimming pools. But, we were swimmers nevertheless. Seasonal ones. We only went swimming during the rainy seasons when heavy downfalls filled various holes with water. Problem is, the holes weren’t big enough to accommodate all the Jason Dunford’s in the making. A hole with a radius of 5 meters served around thirty 10 year old swimmers. Meaning the thirty buttocks rubbed against each other the whole time. Something very very uncomfortable even at that age. The holes were pretty shallow so drowning wasn’t a concern. In fact, the activity wasn’t precarious in any way. The only fuss we had was dealing with big “chokoras” [street children]who would steal our clothes while we were busy at our butterfly’s and back strokes :) . Speaking of this reminds me of a particular incident…

One bright and sunny day, after days of scouting and following leads, my friends and I descended on a precious hole at Mile Saba just a few kilometers off Dandora estate. “The hole was fully filled with water, a complete paradise”. This were the stories we’d heard from other swimmers who had recently returned from Mile Saba. After “Kudandia Lorry za Mchanga” [hanging on sand trucks]and few kilometers of walk, we finally arrived at the hole. And Alas! For once, rumors were indeed true. The hole stretched far and was fully filled with dirty brown water. A complete beauty. This was the most beautiful hole we had seen in our lives. In fact, the hole was so graceful that it would compete with any of those pools fenced in private schools. We stripped naked and dived into the “pool” in hearty screams. But, even before we could settle in the water. Our worst nightmare emerged. OCHIENG KAKONO.

Ochieng Kakono was the biggest and ugliest chokora in Dandora. We called him “kakono” since his right “mkono” or hand in English, was feeble, thin and paralyzed, but he could still swing the “kakono” and throw a stone with pin-point accuracy a few meters out, thus hitting his target. He was BAD NEWS! His face looked like he had just smelt  **** (citation required) for 2 hours non-stop. He never smiled. He was the street Makmende.

Ochieng walked over to where we had left our pile of clothes, picked them up like he was on a shopping spree! Put them in his sack. And left! Just like that! None of us threatened to even mumble a word. We knew that if we did, he would toss broken bottles into the water thus ruining our new found pool. Something he had done time and again! Only thing he left behind our Vaseline petroleum jelly. So, we slowly exited the pool. Made sure he was completely gone, and then had an emergency meeting where we discussed on how to head home naked.We agreed to swim for the rest of the afternoon and then dash back home after the sun had gone down. And we did exactly that! For some hours, we forgot our problems, enjoyed the water, and then at around 6:30p.m, 30 naked boys, shinny of excess Vaseline jelly, cut across Mile Saba, Dunia Market and back to Dandora phase 1, much to the surprise of curious on lookers.

We went ahead to conquer many other pools in the future.

Disclaimer: There is no English translation for Dufo Mpararo. Sorry.

Story Credit by Yamtaa.com